Category Archives: Philadelphia

Unreal Korea

15 Replies

You know, I was never really homesick in Cayman. There were times I missed living in the ‘civilized world’ but the friends and, yes, climate made it an easier place to call home.

Don’t get me wrong: I still very clearly remember the life of being a second class citizen in a small Caribbean country. You stay there for seven years and it’s hard to forget having to contend with people yelling “Go back to your country!” at you when you don’t acquiesce and let them cut you off while driving. Or hearing “My bredren work at Immigration, I can have you kicked off the island,” or even having a bogus file of complaints submitted to the Honourable Work Permit Board.

But lemme tell you this, I miss the heck out of the USA and Cayman right now.

And not just because of the distance and time differences of my favorite tv shows and sporting events. Tech mitigates those issues quite well thankyouverymuch.

It is partially because I couldn’t go to Baltimore when my grandfather passed away. Ok, that one is distance. But it’s more the sheer inconvenience of it.

Yes, there are some fundamental cultural politeness issues. That’s rich coming from me, I know, but it’s true. The pushing and shoving and overall vibe of animosity is right up there w/ New York and there’s a reason I don’t want to live in that city.

Also, there’s an interesting thing about the expats here. They take on a more native thing and say, “you have to adapt to that if you want it to work out.”

Well, that’s just it, isn’t it?

Like maybe the type of people that are expats in Asia are totally different than the type of expats in the Caribbean. And interestingly enough, some of the challenges have come from ‘fellow Americans’ who’ve become power-grabbing opportunists, competing with each other instead of working on the same team. Which is a direct reflection of the duality of Korean community ‘all-for-one’ while simultaneously stressing ‘be the top in your class/field/whatever no matter what the cost.’

Crazy, right?

I just don’t feel at home here the way I did in Cayman, Philadelphia, or Baltimore.

Really didn’t expect that.

So yeah, I’m a little homesick for friends and family and the feeling of community that comes from both.

Happy Time Thanksgiving

Giving thanks

4 Replies

This will be my eighth Thanksgiving away from the USA; Jenn’s as well.

We both moved to Cayman in 2006, and don’t think (!) we ever went back “home” for Thanksgiving once we got there.

We’ve always missed our families, albeit in different ways.  I’ve had a few chances to call and Skype during the family meal, but Jenn has worked in a British school system for the last few years where the holiday is not observed, so she’s missed out on those chats during her family’s meal. And my mother has frequently taken a photo of us and placed it on the table for us just like we were there.

This year it’s different.  We’re both having trouble grappling with this holiday this year.  Not that we don’t have a lot to be thankful for, but unfortunately we’ve all too aware of what we’re lacking versus what we have.  Which is not really the point of the holiday; and that makes me feel a little more weird…

Like maybe I should snap out of it and be freakin’ happy to be alive and healthy and have a wonderful wife and dog and cat and roof over my head and warm clothes to wear and food to eat… and that there are people out there who don’t have any of that.

But… it’s all relative.  And the fact is that I don’t think we’ve ever felt more alone for Thanksgiving then we do this year.

Away from the family home is one thing…  away from family itself is another… and away from the people who were our adopted family is just plain brutal.

We’re going to a brewpub for Thanksgiving this year.  I’m sure it’ll be nice, but it won’t be Copper Falls in Cayman for the third year with friends we’ve had for over four years, and it won’t be our place in Mystic Retreat where we hosted American Thanksgiving the year before that (where I cooked the turkey accidentally upside down), where even though I’d just been ousted from a job, I was surrounded by loved ones… but really, it certainly won’t be home.

Home again?

4 Replies

Jenn says to me, “Not only did we leave Philly behind, it left us behind.”

If home is where the heart is and pieces of your heart lie with the friends you make, and keep, then you can always go home again. As long as you’re surrounded by your friends.

The challenge is that your friends change. At least those in the Circle of Trust* change. And that’s just a normal part of life.

People orbit in and out of the Circle of Trust at a period somewhere between a calendar year and Haley’s Comet being visible from Earth with a minimum of effort.

So I think what Jenn was saying is that although we have some terrific friends here in Philadelphia whom we love, due to the Tyranny of Distance**, our orbits have elongated.

It’s okay tho, because just like Haley’s, we’ll circle back around eventually. Here’s an interesting thing maybe… Do you think that when this happens, both people will look at the other as the comet; looking at the perceived frozen alien surface and wonder what sights the other has seen and what other celestial bodies and weird elements they’ve come in contact with?

Or has Facebook ruined that, too?

*A special round table that existed at Mezza Restaurant in Cayman upon which shots were drunk, oaths were sworn, and secrets revealed never to spoken about again.

**Special thanks to my friend and fantastic chiro Liam for the coinage of this term.

Waking up in Philly

2 Replies

Whenever we travel out bodies go thru various processes to get things resynced. Not just time change biorhythmic stuff because of daylight but also because the food we eat has different particulates. The water is processed differently in different places and that’s why bagels from the Mid-Atlantic taste better than bagels anywhere else, fwiw.

It usually takes a day or three for all the changes to be absorbed and processed. In the meantime it’s no fun being like an illegal alien, amIright?

Even thru it all, I’m looking forward to making myself a little ill from all the different yet familiar foods here in Philadelphia. And not just the cheesesteaks, but more the small things that make it all the more comforting.

Termini Bakery, here I come.